As we are carrying her casket out to the hearst, it slipped out of our hands and began to tumble downhill. We started to chase after it, but it was moving too fast to stop it.On the way down the hill I ran into a pharmacy and asked the pharmacist: “Do you have something to stop this coffin?”A bit of British Humor... I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he’s only got one arm bless him.I shouted - “Where you off to Charlie?”He said, “I’m off to change a light bulb.”“That’s gonna be a bit awkward init?”“Not really.” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just here for a few days.”As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Parking Officer’s funeral, a voice from insidescreams: “I’m not. But you are going to pay for my help and pay it in advance. You are going to do everything I tell you to do today with no questions and no objections. You are going to be my personal fucking whore. You will be giving your pussy to anyone and to everyone that I tell you too. Remember how you said I made you sick because I fucked all the boys at school and you were a little-miss-prude? Well sister dear, you are going to pay for all those years. You will meet all of my conditions and only then will I fix this for you, understand Marline?"I said, "I understand. What are the rest of the conditions?"She said, "For starters, you are going to dress up like the fucking whore that you are. You will go with me to my 8 appointments and you will fuck my clients or suck my clients or I just may have you do both. You will do whatever it takes to get the contracts that I need signed. If I don't get a contract signed, I don't go to Austin to help you out of this fucking mess you are in. Like I said.
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